I feel like I'm in dance class right now
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize