Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
