I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
