I smell stomach acid.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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