apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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