My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
