I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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