so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
