Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
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