Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
