I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
