My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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