The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
