i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
