I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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