You're so nebulous sometimes
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
