It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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