8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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