Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
