Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
