All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
