they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I skipped work to stalk him.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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