FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
MIDGETS
????
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
