Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
