Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha

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(202): I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha http://tfl.nu/h2dn

Replies (5) Good night (734) Bad night (4817)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.

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(215): Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous (610): Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference. http://tfl.nu/p378

Replies (13) Good night (2127) Bad night (699)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.

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(202): I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me. http://tfl.nu/uo6c

Replies (111) Good night (2442) Bad night (36131)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.

(347): View more from New York

Something to remember me by.

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(832): I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet. (347): Something to remember me by. http://tfl.nu/ual5

Replies (6) Good night (2597) Bad night (1933)
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(516): View more from New York

Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.

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(516): Never again will we have slut saturday. Never. http://tfl.nu/croh

Replies (13) Good night (6257) Bad night (1622)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.

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(321): Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class. http://tfl.nu/1es6

Replies (7) Good night (3918) Bad night (753)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...

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(780): It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan... http://tfl.nu/8psb

Replies (20) Good night (979) Bad night (4034)
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(207): View more from Maine

just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.

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(207): just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries. http://tfl.nu/mz24

Replies (3) Good night (3756) Bad night (706)
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(214): View more from Texas

He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.

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(214): He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am. http://tfl.nu/wn9t

Replies (4) Good night (2159) Bad night (754)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.

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(570): Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question. http://tfl.nu/xjer

Replies (3) Good night (1754) Bad night (418)
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(802): View more from Vermont

I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.

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(802): I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday. http://tfl.nu/gxw8

Replies (7) Good night (1501) Bad night (498)
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(602): View more from Arizona

He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow

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(602): He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow http://tfl.nu/0y69

Replies (4) Good night (1009) Bad night (539)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.

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(715): I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall. http://tfl.nu/slbi

Replies (0) Good night (507) Bad night (295)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.

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(412): i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions. http://tfl.nu/djs5

Replies (20) Good night (1380) Bad night (552)
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(323): View more from California

This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.

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(323): This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin. http://tfl.nu/blfu

Replies (0) Good night (593) Bad night (216)

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