Texts From Last Night

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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.

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  (604): My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry. http://tfl.nu/6crc
  Replies (8) Good night (468) Bad night (1591)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?

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  (541): Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works? http://tfl.nu/8nc6
  Replies (26) Good night (1042) Bad night (5540)
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  (925): View more from California

  So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf

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  (925): So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf http://tfl.nu/z2h0
  Replies (33) Good night (6551) Bad night (565)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.

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  (630): just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now. http://tfl.nu/m10w
  Replies (29) Good night (7892) Bad night (564)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.

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  (484): You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy. http://tfl.nu/h40g
  Replies (7) Good night (5858) Bad night (756)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.

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  (978): you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant. http://tfl.nu/88h4
  Replies (18) Good night (4233) Bad night (955)
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  (619): View more from California

  You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything

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  (619): You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything http://tfl.nu/13bs
  Replies (49) Good night (769) Bad night (6306)
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  (530): View more from California

  you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"

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  (530): you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars" http://tfl.nu/ujcf
  Replies (7) Good night (4803) Bad night (911)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.

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  (228): Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park. http://tfl.nu/g3vi
  Replies (11) Good night (1621) Bad night (1317)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.

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  (508): i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail. http://tfl.nu/yrer
  Replies (5) Good night (1866) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES

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  (303): YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES (1-303): YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES http://tfl.nu/trz6
  Replies (9) Good night (2367) Bad night (424)
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  (760): View more from California

  I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?

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  (760): I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person? http://tfl.nu/rhvf
  Replies (23) Good night (1958) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.

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  (512): I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again. http://tfl.nu/arot
  Replies (5) Good night (734) Bad night (1977)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom

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  (301): Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom http://tfl.nu/wuli
  Replies (11) Good night (2398) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?

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  (417): Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA? http://tfl.nu/qvak
  Replies (1) Good night (336) Bad night (204)

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