He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
