I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.