He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.