guess who came home with a hottie last night
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch