Texts From Last Night

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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  And why did you do that?

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Tequila

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  (857): So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose. (617): And why did you do that? (857): Tequila http://tfl.nu/gjpj
  Replies (7) Good night (3764) Bad night (793)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.

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  (219): She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day. http://tfl.nu/oasv
  Replies (24) Good night (3943) Bad night (1327)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono

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  (313): And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono http://tfl.nu/k8o2
  Replies (17) Good night (3886) Bad night (1887)
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  (661): View more from California

  My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss

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  (661): My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss http://tfl.nu/25zw
  Replies (41) Good night (6734) Bad night (876)
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  (661): View more from California

  I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me

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  (661): I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me http://tfl.nu/2y9m
  Replies (25) Good night (11225) Bad night (1031)
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  (518): View more from New York

  They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower

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  (518): They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower http://tfl.nu/ye9z
  Replies (10) Good night (3403) Bad night (897)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete

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  (414): Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete http://tfl.nu/c68q
  Replies (2) Good night (420) Bad night (763)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often

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  (605): We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often http://tfl.nu/nvi7
  Replies (2) Good night (941) Bad night (429)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  God I adore you.

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  (720): I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night. (303): God I adore you. http://tfl.nu/8nlv
  Replies (2) Good night (1194) Bad night (570)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  he has this weird thing where he watches me pee

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  (864): he has this weird thing where he watches me pee http://tfl.nu/0a5f
  Replies (7) Good night (451) Bad night (1598)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.

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  (907): When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on. http://tfl.nu/9zlu
  Replies (1) Good night (663) Bad night (238)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal

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  (540): I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal http://tfl.nu/b5ht
  Replies (1) Good night (510) Bad night (266)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.

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  (614): Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich. http://tfl.nu/2wq9
  Replies (7) Good night (731) Bad night (314)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  How was the picnic?

  (516): View more from New York

  We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Why didn't you put them down?

  (516): View more from New York

  No beer left behind.

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  (413): How was the picnic? (516): We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer. (413): Why didn't you put them down? (516): No beer left behind. http://tfl.nu/j969
  Replies (1) Good night (886) Bad night (277)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?

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  (570): Can I use your baby to go shoplifting? http://tfl.nu/mon8
  Replies (3) Good night (332) Bad night (781)

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