I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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