I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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