You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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