hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.