It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
