Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
