He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
