The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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