some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
