talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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