Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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