Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
