Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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