Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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