We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My vagina is officially offended.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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