by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize