very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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