You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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