Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
