Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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