I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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