their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Houston, we have a blender
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
