fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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