well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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