I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
