Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
