this beer tastes like vomit already
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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