I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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