i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize