Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
