Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My ass is underappreciated
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
