Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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