Bisexual people are plain selfish.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
