would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
