Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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