Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
accomplished twins. life is a go
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
