Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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